Hi, wwkin216, I think many CHings who truly want to help you have already pointed out the difficulties to be with a Mainland MM. Such as, 這段感情是難,有錢做前提的感情也會因為錢的問題而分開; 兩地情是很難維持; 溝小姐比溝正常人家更難,只不過是上床容易得心難; 懷疑只會令自己更難受和令人覺得你很討厭而己!so on. And I think you also fully understand the difficulties you are facing. Before I tell out my advice to you, I’d like to tell a bit about my story.
Months ago, I started a hit with a K girl, I don’t know why I like her so much and I gave her an offer about 10K per month to let her stay with me and stop working in NC. But as time goes by, I felt I falled in love with her. It is just a feeling and hard to tell why I love her, even I know she kept telling lies to me, and I felt sometimes she maybe still keep seeing her former clients. Also, every time we meet, she would ask me for money, if I give her less than she expect, she would “dark face”. She also asked me to buy her Mobile, PC, cloth, etc. I just still keep buying because I want to see her happy face. I know I am on 9 but I just keep letting myself be so on 9 because I am happy when I stay with her. And I do trust she has the financial pressure from her mother.
I also tell myself I should leave her but as I have promised her to take care her and give her 20K to her for giving her family for Chinese new year. So I just did it. I didn’t earn very much but so far I still can manage it financially. But if I still keep giving out, I am sure someday not far away I would break. And now she is back to her hometown for CNY. And I miss her very much but I can’t get touch with her as she turned off her mobile, sometimes I think maybe she already gets all she wants from me and now run away home with her “wolf dog”, or whatever reason she doesn’t pick up my call or replies my SMS. But I also think it is a good thing if she never shows up herself so I can end up all these messy and get my normal life back.
Now is my advice to you:
I think your MM is good girl as comparing to mine. I think you still love her and you don’t want to leave her, just you think you won’t afford her in the near future as you make less than now before. Also you don’t trust her can be with you with less money and afraid to work in K again (I have followed your story since your first post months ago, so I know all about your story). But ask your self, if you feel happy when being with her, other things are not important. Like me, I know my MM is materialism and told lie, but as long as I don’t have the true evident, I still can’t say anything. And I still feel happy to give her what she wants as long as I can handle it as I want to see her happy face. wwkin216 just follow your feeling, you might feel tried to get the money to her, you might feel tired to travel back and forward from HK to Shenzhen, but ask yourself, can you bare the emptiness and sadness when one day when you don’t see her anymore? Love and Money, which one more important for you? I think you have to answer in your mind, and I think your answer is Love.
Good luck man!