性愛、情感、文字 -- 我們的回憶錄 (update p.2 #17,21,25 p.3 #41 p.4 #46)
“Have you heard of the illness hysteria siberiana? Try to imagine this: You're a farmer, living all alone on the Siberian tundra. Day after day you plow your fields. As far as the eye can see, nothing. To the north, the horizon, to the east, the horizon, to the south, to the west, more of the same. Every morning, when the sun rises in the east, you go out to work in your fields. When it's directly overhead, you take a break for lunch. When it sinks in the west, you go home to sleep. And then one day, something inside you dies. Day after day you watch the sun rise in the east, pass across the sky, then sink in the west, and something breaks inside you and dies. You toss your plow aside and, your head completely empty of thought, begin walking toward the west. Heading toward a land that lies west of the sun. Like someone, possessed, you walk on, day after day, not eating or drinking, until you collapse on the ground and die. That's hysteria siberiana.” from村上春樹 《國境之南 太陽之西》
我曾經同過佢講過呢個quote係我起村上春樹咁多書入面最鍾意既一篇文
睇呢本書既時候我大學畢業冇耐
呢段文字有著懾人既魔力
果時既我唔太明白佢想表達乜野 但文字上果種ambiguity模糊性卻深深吸引住我
直到認識左佢
我有一刻發覺自己好似書入面既女主角患左hysteria siberiana 西伯利亞歇斯底裏症
佢突然間心入面既一樣野死左
然後無止境地向著太陽之西一直地行
但係其實冇一個地方確實係起太陽既西面
佢只有不斷咁行 直至死為止
我可能曾經亦一樣
一直追尋一樣我唔知自己想追尋既野
雖然未至於死 但卻無盡地傷心和迷失
失去左佢 有段時間我曾經歇斯底里地搵唔同既性伴
到一刻好似迷失左自己
唔知自己想搵想要既係乜野
雖然未至於忘記每一個性伴既名字
但係卻冇一個人比到同樣既感覺我
我地做完愛
互相攬住對方一齊講我地鍾意既書
聽我地最鍾意既音樂
性愛大家之間互相達到高潮果種歡愉既感覺或許可以從其他性伴獲取到
但性愛之後大家的互相交流 而觸動到我自己內心卻自從佢之後就再未直正搵到過
再次登入呢個acc寫呢個故事係因為果陣我識佢果陣係用呢個acc
我地由討論文字、音樂到討論性愛、實踐性愛再到斷絕來往
我曾經諗過唔會將我地既故事分享出來
將呢個故事放起心入面一輩子
但直至發生左一d事
我覺得應該要放低
要放低就用文字去表達 抒懷
正如佢曾經所講「維以不永傷」 作者用文字去寫下自己既故事 令到自己唔會永遠的傷心
希望我可以起今年年底之前打完呢個故事
作一個了斷吧
故事會以情感記事為主
唔會太多性愛情節 請見諒
[ 本帖最後由 Norwegian_wood 於 2015-1-7 11:46 PM 編輯 ]
