我應該點做???
我今年 15歲, 去左 Canada 讀書 2年 (今年第3年, 讀完小學去的).
今年第一年 high school, grade 9, 識左個 grade 11, 大我2年的男朋友. 佢係CBC (Canadian Born Chinese). 係埋一齊 有4個多月了. 我真係好鍾意佢, 佢都好錫我, 好關心我. 佢係我覺得一個滿分既男朋友. 我身邊 D friend 都話佢又靚仔, 又對我一條心, 世上極品啦.
4 個多月啦, 攬攬鍚錫實有. 佢好 gentleman, 每次都會睇我意思. 我從來都沒覺得佢唔尊重我.
上兩個星期, 我去佢屋企, 佢媽咪臨時出左街(佢媽咪知道我地拍緊拖), 係佢房佢錫我個時隻手伸左去我件衫到想除我衫鈕. 我第一反應有縮一縮, 但之後就冇叫佢停手, 由得佢繼續. 佢解到差唔多第三粒鈕, 就停左手. 我問佢 "what's wrong?", 佢就話 "I don't wanna take it from you when you are not ready for it.". 我驚佢會吾開心, 會嬲, 想即刻解釋, 佢就話 "It's okay. Really. I understand. I am not mad. Don't worry. But promise me you will be honest to me next time. If you are not ready for it, let me know. I just want to know the truth and i want you to be happy.". 我聽到佢咁講真係好感動, 好開心. 之後佢既舉動都話左俾我知, 佢同我一齊吾係只係為左 sex.
今日lunch time, 想去佢 locker 到俾個 surprise 佢, 我無意中聽到佢同佢班男仔 friend 係到傾計. 佢其中一個 friend 話 "If she didn't ask you to stop, why did you stop then?", 我男朋友就話 "She didn't ask me to, but she wanted me to. If she was really ready for it, she wouldn't try to aviod my hand at her first reaction. She didn't ask me to stop because she didn't want me to be mad or upset. I don't want her to feel bad either.", 佢個 friend 就話 " Don't you want it though?". 我男朋友就話 "Of caurse I do! But what i am saying is that i love her. I don't want her to have sex with me because she thinks i am with her because of it and she doesn't wanna lose me. I want her to be willing to give it to me.". 佢另外一個 friend 就話 "Talk to her about this then. Or you know, try it again. If she really doesn't want it for now, you should respect her, and i am sure she will aprreciate it.". 我男朋友就話 "I really don't know what i should do. I want it, you know what i am saying, she is a lovely girl, but she is just 15, and i really love her. I really do. I don't want her to feel bad. errrh, I don't know.". 聽到呢度我唔敢再繼續聽落去, 行開左.
放學之後見到佢, 佢同平時一樣, 冇咩分別. 佢應該唔知道我聽到佢同佢D friend 既 conversation.
我唔知我應該點. 聽到佢話佢好愛我, 吾想我唔開心, 我真係好感動. 但係我依家應該點做? 我應該老實同佢講我聽到哂, 定係一路扮唔知? 如果佢真係再 "take action", 我又應唔應認同佢....? 其實我自己都唔知我 ready 未. 講真, 我都成 15 歲了, 雖然係女仔, 但對呢樣野都會好奇, 再加上我男朋友又對我咁好, 我又真係好愛佢. 但呢樣野一生人只得一次... 有冇人可以俾下意見? 我真係唔知點做好.
(我係真係有心想問意見的, 請勿惡搞或留低 D 騷擾性既留言. THX. )