what a greedy bastard. leave him.
if he cares for your marriage, he'd make an effort to accept you even if you don't cook or whatever (shouldn't he had already known before you guys got married)...
but i think the real problem is the other things he said, you are too goal-driven and career-oriented.. and i am guessing he's not like that at all... it's hard for two people with different minds and views in life to be opened with each other... he might had avoided to talk about certain things with you because he'd already guessed your stand on it.
how long do you guys need to be separated for the divorce? if he's already living with the other girl, then it seems like it's too late for him to come back... you just have to learn to move on.
i never asked, but how old are you...?